Re-craping 6x18 Searching for a Former Clarity

Sims: Time for some strange product placement.

Mia: (singing) Whhhhhyyyy am I still on the shooooow?

Dan: Why, it's my first born and his strangely chubby looking fiance. All OK?
Lucas: We're fine. It's not like Peyton has a mysterious unnamed condition that could kill her and our Spawn.
Dan: "I'm getting a heart."
Lucas: "It's about time."

Man carrying heart: Lalala, whoops, slippery, heart on floor...
Stoner Dog: Mmmmm, yummy!
Dan: Someone has got to be taking the piss.

Deb: (at Keith's grave) Why can't I get a storyline Keith? Why?

Dawson: I'm crazy! I'm wack!
Julian: The movie has been pulled. Someone realised it sucked.
Lucas: Nooo! That movie was a metaphor for me and Peyton!
Julian: Perhaps you should consider getting a life?

Skills: I finally get some screentime and it involves coaching Jamie and his annoying friends. At least I have Deb.
Deb: You're dumped. It was nice while it lasted.
Skills: (bummed) I'd better turn to a life of crime.

Haley's Principal: I'm randomly a bitch for no reason. Apologise or you're fired.
Haley: An actual storyline! Kind of! Thank you so much!

Sam: Oh, Jack's shoplifting. I'd better cover for him.
Brooke: How dare you shoplift! I'm still mad that Julian told me he loved me when I'm still getting over the fact that my high school boyfriend cheated on me!
Sam: Maybe you should get a life?

Haley: (on phone) Nathan? Bitch principal says I have to apologise or I'm fired.
Nathan: Take the high road. That's who you are.
Haley: Are you sure? That doesn't sound like me.

(At the cemetery)
Jamie: Uncle Lucas, how did Great Uncle Keith die?
Lucas: Why don't you ask your evil grandfather.

Peyton: Nobody likes your crappy song, Mia. They want you to play it on guitar instead of piano.
Mia: My life is oooover!

Dan: (wading into sea) Come and get me, dog! Come and eat the rest of me!
Dog: No thanks.

Deb: How dare you make me feel guilty for trying to kill you?
Dan: I'm sorry. Keith's death wasn't your fault. It was because I wanted Karen, or was high on Sunkist. Who the hell knows.

(Everyone gets drunk and depressed)
Skills: My life sucks, dawg.
Lucas: "I just lost three hundred thousand dollars and you lost Deb? Shut up!"
Me: Hee hee!

Julian: I have to leave town now the movie's over.
Sam: Please don't leave us! People always leave!
Julian: This is kind of creepy.

Jamie: Who killed Great Uncle Keith?
Dan: I did.
Jamie: Wah! *runs away*

Lucas: Maybe you and Brooke can work things out.
Julian: I don't think so. Me and my gigantic forehead are leaving.
Dawson: (in helicopter) Did someone say forehead? Don't be sad about the movie, fellas. "Sometimes, the beauty is in the attempt." Now excuse me while I go have sex with fake Peyton!
Lucas: I'm really going to miss him.

Haley: Class, I was asked to say sorry, so here it is. I'm sorry your principal is such a bitch. I'm out of here. Peyton, can I work for you on Mia's crappy record?
Peyton: Sure!
Haley: And let's put it back on piano. I like pissing people off now.

Julian: I have to go, Brooke Davis. But that's okay, because the beauty is in the attempt.
Brooke: *cryface*

Nathan: So what happened to Dan's heart?
Lucas: A dog ate it.
Nathan: Oh. Wanna shoot some hoops?
Dan: I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you both. I'm leaving town now.
Sam: Don't go! Why do people always leeeeaaaaave?

Brooke: I'm sorry I was a horrible mother. To make up for it I'm letting your boyfriend move in.
Sam: Alright!

Haley: Hey Jamie, what ya doing?
Jamie: I'm creating a virtual Tree Hill. There's Lucas and Peyton with their Spawn, and there's Brooke crying over Julian, and there's Sam and Jack having sex.
Haley: How sweet.