Re-craping 6x10 Even Fairy Tale Characters Would be Jealous

Haley: I have stage fright about Peyton's concert.
Nathan: Let me entertain you by pretending I'm back in my wheelchair.
Haley: That's one hell of a comedy routine.

Brooke: They want me to adopt a baby!
Sam: I guess that's me out.

Millie: Why is there a slut in my bed?
Mouth: Gigi, you have to get out.
Gigi: First let me flash my breasts.
Mouth: OK.

Peyton: You said "OK" when I told you that Julian and I were in love?
Lucas: I said "Oh" when you said you loved me. What were you expecting?

Julian: Hi Lucas, how are you?
Lucas: *punch* "OK."

Nathan: "He hit Julian."
Haley: "Why?"
Lucas: He dated Peyton and then tried to turn my shitfest of a book into a movie. I don't know which makes me angrier.

Millie: "I found that tramp-faced horseslut bitch in my bed!"
Brooke: So?
Millie: So, I'm a virgin.
Brooke: You mean you didn't spend high school sleeping around, living in an apartment and having insta-careers?
Millie: No. I lived with my parents, didn't date and actually went to classes.
Brooke: "It's like finding a bigfoot or a unicorn or something!"

Peyton: Sam, first of all *bitchslap* for ruining my wedding dress. Second, this is my brother Derek. He hates his parents too.
Sam: Of course you do. This is Tree Hill.

Nathan: Basketball, basketball, basketball.
GhostofQ: I'm still here.
Nathan: Why are you here? How are you here?
GhostofQ: To talk about basketball, and because Schwanny says so.
Nathan: These parts are too boring to re-crap. Basically, even though I gave up slamball for the sake of my family and to avoid ending up back in a wheelchair, my "comeback" storyline isn't over.
Viewers: Oh good.

Peyton: Haley, it's time for the lip-syncing.
Haley: I can't do it.
Peyton: Sure you can. Look, Mia's here!
Viewers: Oh good.

*Haley lip-syncs "Feel This", badly*
Sam: This blows. Can we go back to watching Nathan and GhostofQ?

Peyton: What do you want from me?
Julian: This is not my fault. Look, I even let your boyfriend punch me.
Peyton: He punched you? This is great! He cares!

Lucas: Did you know about Peyton and Julian?
Brooke: "You are not allowed to be mad!"
Lucas: OK.

Peyton: And if you thought Haley sucked, here's Mia!
Mia: "Hey you guys! I just wanted to mention that I'm single."
Viewers: Shut up, Mia.

Derek: Hey Hales, remember how we're BFF?
Haley: No. But let's have a heart-to-heart anyway.

Brooke: You must be Julian. Do not mess with the Pucas epic love!
Julian: You're hot.
Peyton: Leave my friend alone.
Brooke: Shut up, Peyton. He's hot.

Julian: "How's the hand?"
Lucas: OK.
Julian: Look, I still want to make the movie. It's gonna be great.
Lucas: Seriously? Have you read the book?
Julian: Whatever, dude. You signed a contract. The movie's happening. Kiss my ass.

Peyton and Brooke: We'd just like to announce that signatures for the Pucas Cheerleader Union are being taken at the bar. Now let's give it up for Angels and Airways!
Audience: Who?

Peyton: Sam thinks you're going to kick her out if you get a new baby.
Sam: "Everybody wants the puppy, not the mutt."
Brooke: "You are not going back to the pound!"

Millie: Gigi is being totally inappropriate. You should fire her.
Mouth: *doesn't fire Gigi*
Millie: You're a horsefaced slutbag. Stay away from my man.
Gigi: *giggles inanely*

Peyton: I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me and Julian.
Lucas: Peyton, you have been so good to me when I have strayed from our epic love. When I was with Brooke, when I said "I do" to Lindsey, when I said I hated you...
Peyton: You don't have to give so many examples.
Lucas: OK.

Nathan: How was the concert?
Haley: “I think you're going to like the encore to the encore.”
Nathan: Please don't tease the viewers with Naley sex.
Haley: OK.