Seyton: I’m with Spawn! You hear me? I’m with Spawn!
Lucas: I know you already said it six times. I am contemplating suicide.
Peyton: How am I gonna tell Brooke?
Brooke: I’ve got a date with Julian. But it’s not a date. It’s a business meeting.
Sam: Yes, it is. And Julian is fiiine.
Peyton: I’m with Spawn!
Brooke: Is that your only line?
Peyton: I'm with Spawn!
Brooke: Get out! Sorry, that was just for the promo monkeys. Gimme a hug.
Haley: Hey, you finally showed up. Mia wanted us to prop up her date with Chase.
Nathan: So now, we’re props to second rate characters? Where’s the Sunkist?
Peyton: I hear you're going on a date with Brooke. You break her heart, I'll break your face.
Sam: Don't mind her, she's with spawn.
Julian: *sad*
Brooke: Hey Millie. Girl code girl code girl code!
Millie: I slept with Owen.
Brooke: GET OUT! Just kidding, gimme a hug.
Haley: Hi. I hear I'm going to be an auntie.
Lucas: Peyton told you she was with spawn?
Haley: No, you just did! Congratulations! By the way, you're babysitting Jamie and his annoying friend.
Lucas: You suck.
Mouth: Owen sucks. Throw darts at him.
Viewers: Way ahead of you.
Brooke: You can't be mad at Millie for cheating on you. You kept porno pictures of Gigi on your phone. Gimme a dart.
Jamie and Andre: *high on Sunkist*
Peyton: (high on Sunkist) We have lots of games for yooooooouuuuu!
Lucas: Seriously, I am contemplating suicide.
Chase: Where's Mia?
Haley: Here she comes in slow motion.
MastermindDirectorChad: I was bored and playing with the buttons, okay?
Chase: Nathan, please let me beat you at this basketball game so Mia will like me.
Nathan: Seriously, where's the Sunkist?
Brooke: Can't have wine for my date with Julian. Wine says do me.
Julian: I brought wine.
Brooke: Perfect.
Sam: I'm here for you, Jack.
Jack: I know. That's why I'm depressed.
Montage:
*Nathan and Chase rap*
*Jamie and Andre rap*
*Viewer suicide rates go up over night*
Millie: I'm drunk. Seduce me Mouth.
Mouth: Um, no. You need to leave now.
Haley: Our propping for the night is over, let's leave Mia and Chase alone.
Mia: Alone at last.
Chase: Too bad no one cares.
Peyton: Kids are exhausting. We're going to be terrible parents.
Lucas: It's okay. I got walky-talkies!
Peyton: "My baby thinks of everything!"
Lucas: Lay off the Sunkist, alright?
Brooke: It would be a very bad idea to mix business with pleasure.
Julian: Yes, it would.
Brooke: Wanna make out?
Julian: Okay.
Nathan: (on walky-talky) Lucas? We kidnapped Jamie and Andre back while you guys were asleep. I also stole one of your walky-talkies.
Lucas: It's just like having a real brother.
Nathan: I hear Peyton is with spawn. Speaking of spawn, shut up Jamie.
Jamie: Roger that.
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