Re-craping 3x18 When It Isn't Like It Should Be

Lucas: My uncle's dead, my mom's suicidal, but why not spend a weekend at Rachel's Cabin of Contrivance?
Everybody: Whoo-hoo!
Peyton: Maybe my new boyfriend Pete from Fall Out Boy will join us.
Brooke: Peyton has an imaginary friend.
(Everyone laughs at poor Peyton's pathetic fantasies)

At Rachel's Cabin of Contrivance
Rachel: I guess coming this weekend means you've forgiven me for unleashing eeeeevil on the school?
Mouth: No. I still hate you and think you're an evil bitch, but I'll spend the weekend in your fancy cabin anyway.

(Lucas and Nathan race tractors)
Nathan: I'm gonna ask Haley to marry me.
Lucas: Wait, did I dream everything from the end of season one?
Viewers: If only.

Brooke: (Reads Lucas's letter and gets horny) Think I'll have some alone time in the bathroom.
Rachel: (Walks in) Oh sorry. I was hoping for some lesbian sex. I didn't know you were "Brooke"ing yourself.
Haley: Where the hell is my ring?
Brooke: Maybe it's in this drawer.
Rachel: NO DON'T LOOK IN THERE!
Brooke: Huh, I wonder what her secret is. Something lame I expect.

Lucas: This weekend will give us a chance to recover from recent traumatic events. But first, Sunkist part-ay!
(Everyone goes to a SUNKIST party sponsored by SUNKIST)
Nathan: This must be the most embarrassing thing to ever happen on this show.
Haley: Hey look, it's Pete from Fall Out Boy!
Pete: I just scared the crap out of some cows.
Me: I'll watch every LP scene on loop for the rest of my life, just please don't make me re-crap the Seyton/Pete scenes!

Lucas: Hey Brooke, guess what? I've got Haley's ring!
Haley: Thanks, I've been looking for that.
Nathan: Nice work, Dumbass.
(Wacky hijinks ensue as Brooke tries to get Haley's ring back)
Brooke: (throws Sunkist on Haley) You'd better take a shower or you might start acting stupid.
Haley: Good idea. (takes shower)
Brooke: (sneaks in) Haley, how about some lesbian sex? (gets ring) Oh, never mind.

(Skills and Bevin get lost in the woods)
Skills: Can you believe we get our own B-plot in this episode? I'm not even a regular yet.

(The gang play I never)
Skills: I never slept with my Nathan's mom.
Nathan: I never got pushed through a window.
Rachel: I never got caught Brooke-ing myself in the bathroom, that was Brooke.
Brooke: You swore you wouldn't tell! That's it, I'm gonna find out your lame secret.

(Rachel in hot tub)
Mouth: I've decided to forgive you as your boobies look so nice.
Rachel: I'm so sorry, Mouth.
Mouth: So can I get in the hot tub?
Rachel: Not that sorry.

(Brooke and Lucas in bed)
Lucas: Did I ever tell you about the time I went fishing with Keith and cut my finger? Keith cut his finger too and made us blood brothers.
Brooke: Um, you were ALREADY RELATED, Dumbass.

Back in Tree Hill
Karen: Dan, I brought you some of Keith's things. Here's the adoption papers for Dumbass, the wedding invitation to the woman who couldn't act and a gross assortment of drain hair dating back to the late 80's.
Dan: How thoughtful.
Karen: YOU KILLED HIM!
Dan: Look, I can explain. It was the Sunkist. That stuff is evil.
Karen: I don't mean you literally killed him, but you were like, really mean to him and shit. I hate you and will almost certainly never make out with you again!

Nathan: Now I've got Haley's ring back, time to propose. (Calls Haley) I've got two tickets to Vegas. Wanna renew our vows?
Haley: Oh Nathan, Elvis and forever.

Lucas: Well, I think we've all learned valuable lessons from this weekend.
Nathan: I learned never to trust Dumbass with anything.
Brooke: I learned what Rachel's lame secret is.
Peyton: I learned that no matter how bad Pucas gets, it could be a lot worse.

Note: Pete died on the way back to his home planet