Nathan: Are you sure you're ready to go back to work so soon after being kidnapped along with your son and witnessing a murder?
Haley: Yep.
Nathan: Okay. Hey, who's that sleeping in that car?
Haley: Sam, why are you sleeping in a car?
Sam: You don't understand. Nobody cares. People always leave.
Haley: Why couldn't Dan have shot me too?
Millie: Brooke, I have the solution to your recent troubles: skydiving!
Haley: Brooke, wanna foster a surly teenager?
Brooke: That sounds like a really boring storyline. I think people would rather watch the skydiving.
Mick: Peyton, I am your faaaaaather.
Viewers: No! You're kidding me! I never saw that one coming! etc
Dan: Jamie, my latest spot of homicide persuaded your parents to let me spend time with you without supervision. As a responsible grandfather, I must inform you that all vegetables are evil.
Jamie: I knew it!
(They stumble on Deb and Skills)
Dan: Is Skills out of high school yet?
Deb: Do you even know who Skills is?
Dan: I miss you. Let's try again. (To Jamie) Vegetables cause amnesia too.
(On the book tour of contrivance)
NotLindsey: I'm sorry nobody wants to read your book Lucas. It's just that a page talking about a comet and 600 pages of pictures of the comet isn't really a novel.
Mouth: At least you get to go home to Peyton. And I'm coming back to Tree Hill too! I'm Marvin McFadden, and you just heard a Mouthful.
Lucas: My life officially sucks.
(Dan having Sunkist flashbacks)
Nathan: I hate you, you murderer. Free for babysitting next week?
Peyton: Brooke, why have you written all this stuff about revenge on your mirror? I'm beginning to suspect something's up.
Brooke: I didn't fall down the stairs. I was attacked.
Peyton: No! You're kidding me! I never saw that one coming! By the way, I found my real father.
Brooke: Isn't NotLarry your real father?
Peyton: You're right, he is. Now I've realised that blood isn't what matters, that means no more long-lost relative storylines, right?
Nathan: I found a way to play basketball without hurting my back: playing it on trampolines! I'm also going skydiving with Brooke.
Haley: Actually, Brooke decided to foster Pucas's bastard child, so she's not going skydiving anymore.
Nathan: Oh and Owen returned, but nobody cares about him.
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