Re-craping 6x08 Our Life is Not a Movie or Maybe

Sam: So what's going on here?
Jamie: Good question. It's called slamball. It's the dumbest thing ever. Oh and everyone here used to kiss.
Peyton: Hey Sam. I like you. You remind me of meeeee!
Lucas: Hey guys, guess what? My self-indulgent book is being turned into a movie by Dawson Leery!
Peyton: The Comet? That's great! It's all about meeeeeee!
Lucas: No, my other self-indulgent book. Ravens.
Peyton: Am I in it?
Lucas: You're half of it.
Peyton: I suppose that will do.
Nathan: I AM THE SLAMBALL KING!
Sam: Wasn't he just in a wheelchair?
Mark: Clearly someone hasn't been introduced to the Sunkist.

Julian the producer: Don't worry, I'm not a stalker like Seyton.
Lucas: Oh, so you two have met huh?

Peyton: Hi RealBrotherDerek!
RealDerek: Oh uh, hey Peyton. Shouldn't you be in Tree Hill?
Peyton: I just wanted to talk about our real dad, and how peoplealwaysleave.
Derek: Maybe the other Derek had the right idea.

Nathan: So how did Peyton react to your book becoming a movie?
Lucas: Oh you know, woodenly.
Nathan: What about Brooke?
Lucas: Who?
Nathan: Brooke. You know, the girl you dated in high school?
Lucas: (blank stare)
Nathan: You were helping look after her contrived baby recently?
Lucas: Nate, I don't know what you're...
Mark: More Sunkist anyone?
Nathan: (swigs) Man, slamball is a GREAT idea!
Lucas: Amen to that. (Chugs)

Lucas: Hey Brooke, or whatever your name is. I just wanted to let you know that the movie of my book will probably make you look like a slutty ho. Sorry about that.
Brooke: It doesn't matter. All that matters is the kickass epic love story in the movie.
Lucas: Yeah, you gotta love Naley. Haley, I think you and Nathan should have more sex.
Haley: Uh, okay. How about a sexy massage?
Lucas: That's better.

Gigi: Oh Mouth, I want you.
Nathan: A word of advice, never talk to another woman who isn't your wife or girlfriend. Especially if you're doing the other woman in real life. The shippers will go nuts.
Mouth: Noted.

Haley and Millicent: Brooke, you should totally go out with that ex-junkie who abandoned you because you wanted to adopt.
Nathan: Yeah, you really should.
Dan: You totally should.
Owen: I promise not to run away this time.
Millicent: There's a break-in at the store.
Brooke: Let me get my gun.
Owen: Wait, what?

Brooke: You kidnapped a five-year-old, broke into my store and destroyed Peyton's wedding dress? You are SO grounded!
Sam: I'm sorry. This guy Max gave me Sunkist and suddenly I had the urge to do something really stupid.
Brooke: Don't worry, I'm not going to kick you out.
Sam: You mean peopledon'talwaysleave?

Lucas: (playing pool) So if I make the shot, Peyton's the one. Okay, you can make my book into a movie.
Julian: Excellent. Now onto the real reason for my interest in the book: stalking Peyton.
Peyton: What are you doing here? Stalking me?
Julian: No, I'm here to turn your boyfriend's life story into a movie. And maybe one day it will become a TV show, like The Creek.
Peyton: Who would be cruel enough to inflict that on the viewers week after week?