Re-craping 4x10 Songs to Love and Die By

Dante: [talking to himself] I am so fuming, I want to hit someone with my car. How about the Scott kid? The one that said was going to loose the championship game, but didn't. [Hits Haley] Oh scrap, wrong Scott kid. [Hits car] Oh scrap, fancy car. [Hits road signs] Oh scrap... [Passes out/Dies]

Lucas: "What happened?"
Nathan: "They just hit her, man!"
Unconsious Haley: You think?!

[Nathan runs over to Dante's car and drags Dante out of it]
Nathan: You hit my girl! I'll punch your face! [Dante's face becomes a punching bag]
Dan: Now, what do you think you're doing?
Nathan: I don't know. I'm not the thinking kind, that's Haley.
Dan: Go over to your wife, fast. The Police is coming and Dante is dead.
Dead Dante: You think?!
Dan: "You killed him, son."
Nathan: Oh scrap.

[Dan punches the pavement]
Keith: What do you think you're doing, Danny?
Dan: I feel so guilty for killing you, Keith. I am going to take the blame for Nathan's mess. What the hell are you doing here?
Keith: [Reads off a piece of paper] Script says to forgive you. "I forgive you."
Dan: "You take that back."
Keith: "I said I forgive you."
Dan: "You take that back, you son of a bitch."
Keith: Danny, you've already killed me. Don't insult, mom.

Lucas: She's been hit by a car. She's pregnant.
Paramedic 1: How far along is she?
Lucas: I don't know... Schwahny never tells me those things. The timeline is like The Twilight Zooonne...
Paramedic 1: He passed out?
Paramedic 2: No, he's dead... technically.
Paramedic 1: Well, what are you waiting for? Begin CPR.
Paramedic 2: Oh yeah, right.

Lucas: Keith? What are you doing here? What am I doing here?
Keith: Dead, you are. But yet, not.
Lucas: Yoda?

[Peyton's Red Bedroom]
Brooke: "Lucas and Haley are in the hospital."
Peyton: Haley cheated with Lucas and Nathan beat both of them up to an inch of their lives?
Brooke: Well, not exactly.
Peyton: A girl can dream, right?
Brooke: I'll drive you to the hospital.

[Hospital's Waiting Room]
Nathan, Peyton, Brooke: How's Haley? How's the baby?
Doctor: Your wife is in bad shape. And we don't really care about the kid. [to Nathan] What the hell did you do to piss off Schwahny?
Nathan: I don't know I just do whatever is in the script. I even drink the Sunkist.

Lucas: What the hell is going on?
Keith: You know about karma. Do good, get killed.
Lucas: [squinting] Want one girl, get the other? Have sex, get a pregnancy scare?
Keith: Well, yeah.
Lucas: This karma thing sucks. This show sucks.
Keith: You're barely hanging in there, Luke. I bet Schwahny that I could make you go back. Sign up for a seventh season?
Lucas: I don't want to go back. I am bored out of my mind.
Keith: You have to Luke.
Lucas: Why, Keith? Why?
Keith: Please don't become like Peyton.

Peyton: Why do people always leave? Why, Schwahny? Why?
Schwahny: I thought the phrase was catchy. "Then again, I'm 32, I live with my parents. What the hell do I know?"
Peyton: More like 42. You spend way too much time in Tree Hill, the timeline is like The Twilight Zone.

[Hospital's Chapel - Karen's praying]
Lucas: Is my mom going to be OK?
Keith: [whispering] She's not. It's all your fault, you didn't drink the Sunkist. "That was a pretty stupid thing to do, Luke."
Lucas: [whispering] "Anyway, are spirits allowed to call people stupid?"
Keith: [whispering] "I'm dead. I can say whatever the hell I want."
Lucas: [whispering] "Yeah, well, it wasn't very nice."
Keith: [whispering] Not drinking the Sunkist wasn't, either.
Lucas: [whispering] And why are we whispering?
Keith: [whispering] I don't know, it seems appropriate.
Lucas: [out loud] "You know for a spirit you suck at this." Whispering, when you're not really there? Trying to make me go back by calling me stupid?
Keith: Alright, I'll show you something you're going to like.

[Under the bridge]
Moping Peyton: What are you doing here?
Brooke: Came to see you, because it's all about you Peyton. I know you're bad luck. Everybody around you drops like flies. Your mom, Ellie, future relative #6... But Haley and Lucas are going to come back. I know it. It's in the script.
Peyton: Thanks for holding my hand again. You want to make out?
Brooke: Yeah, sure, why not. [Make out]

Keith: So what do you think?
Lucas: A girl-on-girl make out session is not going to make me go back. It might work for Nathan, but not for me. Nice try, Schwahny, nice trr... Wait... Didn't Brooke just said I was going to come back?
Keith: Yeah, she did. So is Haley.

[Haley's hospital room]
Nathan: Hey, you. Wake up.
Haley: [Wakes up] God, I'm groggy from all the Sunkist. How is the baby?
Nathan: I don't know, they did not check on him yet.
Haley: They did not check on my baby? Where do I sign up to sue this hospital?
Doctor: Alright, alright, come down. We'll check if it's still alive. [Finally turns on the ultrasound] It's alive! Aliiive!!!

Keith: See. All is right, in your little corner of the world.
Lucas: This is still not convincing me that I should go back, Keith.
Keith: [Rummaging through his pockets] I lost all the pages where I stroke your ego. It's okay, I'll ad lib. [Trying to remember] If you did not exist, Nathan and Haley would never have become Naley. And half the audience would have left the show. If you did not exist, we would not have Pucas vs. Brucas, and they provide most of the catfights on the show and you provide them off the show. Oh, and Dan was the one who shot me.
Lucas: What?! Dan killed you?!
Keith: Scrap, I was not supposed to tell you this spoiler. Schwahny is not going to be happy. You have to avenge me, Luke. That's why you have to go back.
Lucas: Fine, I'll go back.

Keith: Hey, Schwahny! Come here! Where's my money?